Silly Old 1 liners

What do you call a woman with one leg?
- Eilene

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your front porch?
- Matt

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?
- Bob

What did the left nut say to the right nut?
The guy in the middle thinks he is so hard!

What do you call an anorexic with thrush?
A quarter pounder with cheese!

Why did the fish get kicked out of school?
Cause he was caught with seaweed.

WHAT DID THE GHOST SAY TO THE BEE?
BOO-BEE

How to you make a dish washer into a snow blower?
Give the bitch a shovel

The fight we had last night was my fault,
my wife asked me what was on the TV and i said dust.

Boys are like parking spaces the good ones are take-in!!!!

What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud

What do you call a camal with 3 humps?
Humphreys

What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies !

What does a fish say when it runs into a wall?
DAMN!

If a turtle doesnt have a shell, is it naked or homeless ?

How do you stop a fish from smelling?
Cut its nose off

What do you call a fish with no eye ?
FSH !

What do you call a deer with no eyes ?
I have no I-Deer

What is invisable and smells like carrots?
Rabbit farts.

What is a dogs favourite school subject?
"Dog-Ruff-E "

Why are there no asprins in the jungle?
Because the Parots-ate-em-all

Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested?
He was charged with battery.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan. (pronounced one on one)

Why do gorillas have big nostralls?
Coz they got big fingers!!!!!!!!!

What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a Pitt Bull?
Lipstick