Jokes jokes and more jokes

What do you call a nun in a wheel chair ???



Virgin mobile :lol:

A radio station is offering a world trip to whoever can come up with the best word that's not in the dictionary but can be put into a sentence. A Wee Glasgow guy calls in and says,"ma word is Gaun, spelt g.a.u.n and ma sentence is: "Gaun fuck yersel". The DJ hangs up and apologises to his listeners. 5mins later another Glasgow guy calls and says "Ma word is Smee, spelt s.m.e.e. DJ says,"ok, what's your sentence?" The guy says,"smee again,gaun fuck yersel"

Man in hospital bed wearing oxygen mask over his mouth. "Nurse", he mumbles. "Are my testicles black?" Nurse raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand & his testicles in the other, ...she takes a close look & says, "There's nothing wrong with them Sir." Man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her & says very slowly, "Thanks for that, it was lovely, but listen very very carefully. "Are-my-test-re-sults-back?"

ONE OF THE 7 DWARFS WAS JAILED THE DAY FOR HAVING SEX WAY A GIRAFFE THE POLICE SAY THE OTHER 6 PUT HIM UPTO IT LOL

What do gay frogs eat?.

. . Toads' tools!!

spat me tea out when i read those

Sky Sports have announced that from next season onwards Man utd will be the only English team shown on sky sports 1 and 2 . Liverpool games will be shown on history channel; Chelsea will be on the African movie channel, man city on the shopping channel & you will be able to find Celtic live on cartoon network.

A Scotsman was walking his dog when he bumped into a genie. The genie granted him 1 wish. The Scot said "I wish my dog wins Crufts" The dog had 3 legs, fleas, most teeth missing and 1 ear. The genie said "I'm a genie not a magician, make another wish" The Scot said "Ok I wish for my beloved Celtic to be free of pedophiles, smelly ginger soapdodgers & win the champions league" The genie shook his head and said "Giz another look at that fucking dug

whats black and got 2 broken arms ????? colonel gaddaffis sun glasses

My 2 friendly lesbians nxt door have just handed me a rolex 4 my bday and a card saying " Have a great day Joe but Cindy isn't up for a fight".... Don't think they're the brightest and must have misunderstood me when i said 'for my birthday i wanna watch and knock one out'

hubby says"i fancy kinky sex,can i cum in Ur ear?"wife says"NO i might go deaf"
hubby says"i been cumin in ur mouth for 20years &ur still fucking talking!!"